March 25, 2013

2-Ply

hormones.
alleles.
chromosomes.
nature feels.
i
want
in.
underneath my skin...
deep within the tissues where i would hide between its layers when i didn't want anyone to see me shedding.

"suck it up," i'd tell myself as i held my breath, balled up the issue, & tucked in the grief.

no real proof that people could see 
since everyone thinks the weight "looks good" on me.

but i'm only plump in these places because there's no more room left on my shoulders.

so many pounds of tissue clinging to my fragile frame.
threatening to burst at seams i never used to have, 
stretching my skin, 
spreading me thin.
but i
want
in.
i need in.
so i no longer consume my feelings.
i lighten up & burn them into the atmosphere instead,
addicted to the fervor in which they burn back. 

in love with the pain of working out my kinks
and feeling myself.

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