80/20: Pick Your Poison

so everyone knows what the 80/20 rule is rite?

"just 80 percent of what you want in a relationship is hard to find so be content with it...don't leave the 80 percent that you already have that for a 20 percent you want for the moment in order to reach the ever elusive 100 percent."

BUT...what constitutes an 80 percent?

here's my theory...

#1. an 80% isn't what is easy:

anything REALLY worth it in life doesn't come without work, but because we live so much in the fast-paced now people tend to want what will bring them happiness the quickest & least involved. however, an 80% will make you work for the 80% as if he/she is 100%

#2. an 80% accepts you but does not enable you:

i am a strong believer in the one you are ultimately supposed to be with is supposed to help you to positively grow and evolve...not be dependent or controlling but inspire you to want to look inwardly and discover your true self.

#3. an 80% loves you unconditionally but will let you go if needed:
someone who is mostly what you want/need will love you as much as he/she can but will not allow him/herself to become so consumed in you that he/she cannot let go despite the circumstances. not letting go is ultimately selfish and an 80% understands that even though the actions of his/her heart may not reflect said understanding.

#4. an 80% has an unforced, undeniable connection never to be compared to another:

i believe who is said to be your 80% connects with you on ALL levels...not just the one's that make you happy. he/she doesnt always agree with you but has the power to completely understand you at the same time...there isn't any other connection as strong.

#5. an 80% is the one who you struggle with the most:

just like how whoever your POSITIVE parental figures are, an 80% will be hard on you. an 80% will want to take care of you and please you but at the same time he/she will not allow those desires to cloud his/her judgement. if you are wrong...an 80% will let you know AND try to help you figure out how to help you help yourself. a lot of the time this comes across as he/she being difficult and controlling...but i've realized that the people who love you the most are the hardest on you because they want to see you be the best you can be...not for themselves, but for you. someone who REALLY loves you like an 80% should cannot sit back and watch you make unwise decisions just to avoid conflict. constructive conflict breeds communication...communication breeds understanding. true understanding...not blind agreeance for the sake of keeping the relationship together...breeds an 80%

in my opinion, a 20% is the lesser quality choice; the choice you choose because the 80% requires too much emotional investment and risk. it's like if you have the choice to invest 80% of your money or 20% of your money into the unknown, which one would you choose? both are risks but one requires more loss than the other if it doesnt work out. & most people in this day don't like to take a leap of faith for what they really believe...instead they pick what will make the chance of being wrong very slim.

although the 80% encompasses what you truly need in a healthy relationship...it does not always clearly expose itself as the most safe and secure choice; however security is what we all desire...and ultimately deserve. BUT...just because you are the one a person desires to be with does NOT secure you as the 80%...you can just as well be the emotionally easier, more convenient, least opposing 20% that i believe most people end up settling for falsely counting it as 80% confusing what is "easy" and what "works" with the "right choice." however, love is not a business deal where you CHOOSE who you want based off of who has the best resume projecting the easiest prospective future. granted, the qualities a person possesses in regards to compatibility & building a future definitely matter but because people often fear strong connections beyond just what can be contributed, where the passion isn't just superficial, they CHOOSE what suffices for their rationale rather than what satisfies their heart. if you are a deemed as "the smarter CHOICE" then you are the 20%

what you want isn't always what you need but what defines the two are often interchanged...therefore confusing the qualities of an 80% with qualities of a 20%

80% is quality with risk...20% is superficial security.

pick your poison...