February 26, 2013

thinking out loud...

I will never understand neither a black man’s hatred for black women nor a man's hatred for women in general. I'm using the word "man" very loosely here, by the way. Social networks are very interesting in that I get to see the many ways people think, most times raw and uncut. And it amazes me how many times I see black men complaining and berating black women in just one day. Every time I scroll through my different timelines I find myself asking "who hurt you?" Y'all do realize that's part of where all hatred comes from right... a place of hurt. Now, I’m not trying to generalize or point blame in the next few things I say; I can only speak on observation and experience. If it doesn’t apply to you then take no offense. Black men…grow your man parts back. To spend so much time sitting on the internet talking about what women are and aren’t is too funny to me in the name of everything you same guys claim are “female traits”. How can you hate women so much then still claim your manhood? How can you hate women so much yet turn around and still want to have sex with us, admire our looks, want us to cook for y’all, and have your babies? And to those black men who hate black women, have you guys not noticed YOUR MOTHERS ARE BLACK? I’m just trying to understand. What’s funny though is that most times the same men who say so many hateful things about women never want to talk about it. I’m a naturally inquisitive person who can’t accept anything, except God, without a bunch of “why” and “how” questions. I have yet to find a man to sit down and have a conversation with me about his hateful views of women yet, especially the black men who hate their own women. How can you stand strong in your views then back out from explaining them once someone comes along and challenges what you’ve said with a simple question, or 7? Lol. I don’t think you can do both. 

To focus on what bothers me the most, Black men…hating black women is an extension of a hatred you have for yourself. I just want to share that. There is no woman out there like a black woman. And I hate to make this a racially divisible thing, but what’s real is what’s real. Black women are damn awesome; there’s no comparison. The complaint about black women I see the most is this “attitude” most of us have. It’s the only complain I see that actually applies to black women specifically. We’re cut from a different cloth, so duh. Every culture and subculture has a particular “attitude” that comes with it. However, taking advantage, lacking actions or feelings of reciprocity, being money hungry, being emotionally damaged, etc. are HUMAN flaws. Not one particular race, gender, or sexuality is the sole owner of any character flaw. Sorry. 

Have you men ever actually looked at your live and your choices? Have y'all ever looked at yourselves and asked why you keep attracting the same kinds of women? Hating black women is a narrow view based on the women YOU know and the women YOU have dealt with. And these women are a reflection of a part or many parts of you. All black women cannot be blamed for your poor choices. At some point in life we all have to accept the fact that our views are directly connected to our experiences and connected to how said experiences have affected us mentally, emotionally, physically, and/or spiritually. And your dating experiences start with your choices.

It's okay to still be hurt but don’t be bitter towards all Black women because of your experiences with some. Black women are the only women who know how to truly handle all of the intricacies that come along with a Black man. 

Black women: If you come across a Black man who expresses a hatred towards Black women. RUN!!! 

I’ll end my rant there.

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