November 12, 2010

Flowing From My Heart...Forever

i want to write you a love song

and play it for you in memory of us

compose for you lines of the trust we drew to outline our beautiful adventure

filling it with colorful verses of the time we spent together painting our perfect picture of love

and i want to perform our song

dance for you to the pulse of my heart’s metronome that perfectly matches the beat of yours

and sing the silenced words you taught me to resonate when i miss you the most

but a song is not enough

our love stretches beyond any measure

beyond any melody recognizable to the human ear

‘cause we’ve always had our own rhythm

unable to be grasped by anyone other than us

an undying tree of potential

stretching far beyond the atmosphere

to where the procreation of our intertwined spirits lives eternally

nobody can touch it

nor can they transcend above it

except for God

who is responsible for lovingly allowing us to birth such purity

through a relationship that sailed through the calmest of the storm

to the most treacherous rapids of rapidly flooding emotion

that you gently taught me to “just flow” with

so that i may find peace within our fears

with you

once i stopped fighting against your current

i could finally see the devotion of your patience reflecting off of still waters

and now as i reflect on those same waters through our stream of memories

i realize that you were selflessly protecting me the entire time

practically drowning in my misery for me

so that i could keep my head above water to witness what strength really looks like

you restored my heart strings pulled too many times by lies and broken promises

and softly strummed the sweetest tun
e to sooth its wounds

a tune i still hum in my darkest of nights as i

rock myself to sleep blanketed in the warm reminiscence of every way you touched me

intangibly

you prepared me for these hard times

paid close attention to my fraternal emptiness

and filled it

with protective masculinity that you didn’t even know you were capable of emitting from your own abandoned spirit

built a foundation of expectations that i should have been exposed to from birth

expectations that not one person after you has lived up to yet

job well done my pisces partner in passion

you selflessly loved me to the point of dependency

then even more selflessly you let go of your grip on my heart strings

stood back and watched as, like a balloon, i floated away in the undercurrents of the wind

just so i could learn how to navigate them too

our final goodbye couldn’t have been sweeter, although it was masked with bitter sorrow at the time

now

in absence of you

i have grown to understand, accept, and appreciate your distinction

so that when i think of you

tears collect in your favorite dimple on the right side of my smile

because i know when times get hard

i can always look up at any tall tree in remembrance of us

with assurance that the spirit of our love is still resting in the same nest where we placed it long ago

promising each other that we would never forget what we created together


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