October 26, 2010

Ruthless Reflection

i take steps forward
to only take steps back
and end up right back
where i once turned my back
i turned my back to immaturity
and all of my insecurities
turned my back to all the stress
and unecessary BS
to turn around and make a mess
anyway
because i put my faith behind me
and my flesh before me
and somehow
slipped into the cracks of the mirror i broke
when i no longer liked the reflection of myself
see
i hated what i would see
'cause i knew it wasnt me
but i was so trapped behind what i thought was my reflection
unknowingly staring into a 2-way mirror
where, oblivious to me, there was another side
a more positive side
a better side of myself to be explored
an exploration in which i became allured
with the potentiality of vicissitude
but i slipped into the cracks of that same mirror
so im back to hating what i see
reflecting on things that deserve no recollection
fooling myself with my own reflection
thinking im looking at perfection
when the mirror is insidiously deceiving me
causing me to hurt the people i care about most
and convincing them that there is no hope
in me ever ridding my life of this poisonous oak
trimmed mirror
but now i realize
the only way to legitimately make things clearer
is to turn off the 2-way mirror
not try to break it
not try to escape it
just simply turn it off
so i can see myself for who i really am
and continue to progress forward
without the danger of reflecting back
on the reflection of who i once was

**written September 14, 2009

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